Jokes Page

Anyone can put in a joke (apart from racist, discrimination agasint blondes etc....) It can be about anything apart from the above and the rules of this forum still apply. Have fun!

Q. What hand do you use to pick up a poisonous snake?
A. Your enemies!

Did you know there are 10 different sorts of people in the world?

Those who understand binary and those who don't.

Lets get this page started again!!!

my joke is:

How many luxons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
they cant! they cant win in AB so why is this any different!

sori i no its sad but couldnt think of a gud answer!
(suggestions would be good)!

i am a bit bored at work so will try on.. the only joke i know in english :-)

A man enters a bar.
That man has a steering weel out of his flee. He go to the bar and orders a pint.
The bar man looks at the man and says: "eh...sir, did you know you have steering weel out of your flee????

the men says: Yeah i know, it is driving me nuts.

gud 1 amy!!! and its fly not flee! hehe
im gona tell my m8s that joke at skool!

thanks for the correction :-)

a belgium man (louis) sees they need a police officer in the neighbourhood.
so he thinks....that job is mine.

When he finally made it till the bureau they explain him his job.

You go walk in the park. When you notice people having sex in the bushes you give them a ticket (?)of 50 euro.

Louis is proud of his job and walks around in the park, when he suddenly hears someone. the sounds are very familiar to him, so he rans to the bushes and says..."are you having sex?".
someone says: yes
Louis: that is not allowed here. it will cost you 50euro.
and a hand comes out of the bushes with 50 euro.

Louis walks further in the park when he heres that sound again.. he rans to another bush and says..are you having sex?
someone says: yes
Louis: that is not allowed here. it will cost you 50euro.
and a hand comes out of the bushes with another 50 euro.

Louis goes on and hears it again..he rans to the bush and says.: are you having sex?
someone says: yes
Louis: that is not allowed here. it will cost you 50euro.
someone: hmm moment.. honey can i have your purse pls he needs 50 euro.
Louis: aahh, you are not alone..you are with two persons...that will cost you 100 euros then.

You know why Jewish mothers watch porn movies till the end?
They still hope to see the couple getting married in the end.

Louis and bert are trying to get a free ride to their home.

finally a nice car stops and a really beautifull lady is driving it. She only wants to take one person to that place, so Louis gets in the car.

After 30 minutes the same car appears by Jeff , but Louis is driving it. How you get the car asks Jeff??
So Louis starts telling. We where driving a little while when the blonde lady says: pull over by that bush over there.
she takes of here blouse and threw it on the ground. Then she took off her bra and puts it on here blouse. Also her skirt was taken off and put on the ground. finally she took of her pants, spread her legs and said.. you can have all you want. and i took the car said louis.

very smart said Jef, cause what could you do with women clothes????

I've told this one before through guild chat, but it's the best I can think of right now and it's good to keep a wee record of that moment.

Three animals walk into a bar. The first animal, a lion says, "I am the lion and I am the most feared! My roar can be heard for miles!"

The second animal, a wolf, says, "No, I am the wolf, and I am the most feared! My howl can be heard across the world!"

But then the third animal, a chicken, laughed, and said, "Ha, that's nothing! All I have to do is cough and the world goes crazy!"

hey here a rubbish joke

knock knock
who there
arfur
arfur who
arfur got lol it quite funny

also docter docter i think i need glasses
he reply u sertanly do sir this is a resterant both quite rubbish something i
heared